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Where Will I Find You, Dad?

(c) Linda Hutchison January 2020

I’ll find you in the stillness of the workshop, dancing with the dust motes that swirl in a shaft of sunlight.

I’ll find you in the smooth curve of timber, the fragrance of its raw shavings, and the hues of its well-oiled grain.

I’ll find you in the sparkling water, slapping against the hull of a boat, and dazzling my view of the ocean.

I’ll find you on the back of our motorbike, grinning from ear to ear as we fly through the forest, or perhaps telling me that I shouldn’t wear treads on the bike when it’s only 10 degrees.

I’ll find you next to the jasmine, berating me for rolling your precious car down the driveway with the doors locked and me and my sister inside. I deserved your tirade.

I’ll find you in the call of the Butcher Bird seeking its mate in the cool dawn, and the chortle of the Magpies as you fish for redfin from the bank of Lake Eppalock.

I’ll find you discussing technical engine things with your mates that add to my vocabulary but mostly evade my understanding.

I’ll find you smiling with the cat before you as you extol the virtues of the retirement village.

I’ll find you sitting calmly on your walker as we look out over the bay, reassuring me that you’re fine about going into the nursing home. And you were. You had happy times there.

I’ll find you escaping on the other side of a major road, pushing your walker through the long grass as you say you just wanted to walk down to the freeway.

I’ll find you in my pencil case, telling me that you’d like to use the colour “slate”.

I’ll find you in my pocket, in the comfort of your old handkerchief that still has your name label on it.

I’ll find you telling me you’re ace, when your vital signs are telling us the complete opposite.

And I’ll find you in my heart, telling me that you’ll love me forever.

Because I know you will.

Wherever I look, I’ll find you.

And when I reach heaven, I’ll search high and low until we can sit together, looking out over eternity, and I can finally get to know you. But perhaps I already do.


Where Will I Find You, Dad?: Work
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